


That Line Will Get You Far ... Away From Me

by bellamythology (onemanbellarmy)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 10:24:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6048055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onemanbellarmy/pseuds/bellamythology
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Ladies.” Bellamy had finally caught up, wearing his trademark smirk. There were only two girls he’d ever met who were immune to it, and they were both standing in front of him.</p><p>“Ew, Bell, please don’t ever use that tone where I can hear you ever again.”</p><p>He ignored his sister to sidle up to Clarke and stage-whisper, “I don’t even know why she wanted me to come — feel this shirt, it’s clearly boyfriend material.”</p><p>She shrugged. “I dunno, it looks a little clingy and hard to maintain.”</p><p>“That’s a cute dress you’re wearing.” He gave her a slow once-over and a roguish wink. “Bet it would look even better —”</p><p>“Oh-kay, Bell, that’s enough!” Octavia wrinkled up her nose and pushed her way between and past them. “C’mon, let’s just get this over with.”</p><p>Not content to let him get the last word, Clarke leaned over to finish, “— it’d look even better cutting off your windpipe.”</p><p>(Where Bellamy inadvertently starts it all, but for some reason he just can't let Clarke finish it.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Line Will Get You Far ... Away From Me

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Included pickup lines are not my own, nor are most of the comebacks.
> 
> Written for [celestialbell](http://celestialbell.tumblr.com) on Tumblr.

It actually began as a misunderstanding. He’d asked it as an actual question, not intending it as a line — but she was a bit drunk and more than a bit tired of being hit on, and maybe just a little exasperated with how much she was attracted to those dark curls and freckles before he opened his mouth.

But when Bellamy asked if he hadn’t seen her somewhere before, Clarke snapped, “Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

Surprised and a little hurt since he’d done nothing to deserve such viciousness, he retorted, “Did it hurt, crawling up from hell?”

“Why don’t you try it yourself?” She huffed and turned back to her drink.

“Weak, Griffin,” Octavia chirped, sliding up next to them. “Hey, Bell.”

Clarke’s glare turned on her. “You know him?”

Octavia laughed. “Unfortunately.” She reached out and up to ruffle his hair; he ducked away, but his scowl — unlike Clarke’s — was fond. “Clarke, this is my dumbass brother, Bellamy. Bell, this is my roommate Clarke. Haven’t you guys met? Maybe through Monty and Miller, or Raven, or —”

“ _Raven_ ,” Bellamy groaned. Of course. How could he have forgotten the fierce blonde who’d tried so vehemently to keep her friend from going home with him? “Yeah, I remember Clarke.”

A normal pair would’ve laughed off the incident, even become friends, but Bellamy and Clarke had never been and would never be anything approaching normal.

* * *

One of the upsides of living in the same fairly small city was that you were bound to cross paths even if you weren’t trying. And unfortunately for Clarke, Bellamy _was_ trying.

“Hey,” he said, smirking as he sat down at the computer terminal next to Clarke’s. “Are you a keyboard? Because you’re just my type.”

“If only I could delete you like a typo.”

Undeterred, he tried again. “You know, I’m not a photographer, but I can picture you and me together.”

“Would you look at that.” She gestured at her blank screen. “It says ‘image not found.’”

“If I could rearrange the alphabet —”

“But why would you bother when N and O are already together?”

There was a short silence in which he generously allowed her to return to her coding project, then —

“Who needs Google when you’ve got everything I’m searching for?”

“You’d be Internet Explorer then, since no one wants or needs you, yet you persist.” She gathered up her books, slung her bag over her shoulder, and loftily swept out of the library.

* * *

Clarke caught sight of him before Octavia did. “Why did you invite your brother?” she hissed, shooting his approaching form another long-suffering scowl, to which he smiled and waved overly cheerfully.

“He’s Raven’s plus-one to the wedding; he needs something to wear too!”

Ignoring the funny feeling in her heart, Clarke shook her head. “Why couldn’t Raven take him, then?”

Octavia looked unamused. “Really? I don’t trust Reyes to dress herself for a fancy event, let alone my brother.”

“Ladies.” Bellamy had finally caught up, wearing his trademark smirk. There were only two girls he’d ever met who were immune to it, and they were both standing in front of him.

“Ew, Bell, please don’t ever use that tone where I can hear you ever again.”

He ignored her to sidle up to Clarke and stage-whisper, “I don’t even know why she wanted me to come — feel this shirt, it’s clearly boyfriend material.”

She shrugged. “I dunno, it looks just a little clingy and hard to maintain.”

“That’s a cute dress you’re wearing.” He gave her a slow once-over, hiding how much he actually meant the words with a roguish wink. “Bet it would look even better —”

“ _Oh_ -kay, Bell, that’s enough!” Octavia wrinkled up her nose and pushed her way between and past them. “C’mon, let’s just get this over with.”

Not content to let him get the last word, Clarke leaned over to finish, “— it’d look even better cutting off your windpipe.”

Octavia stopped and whirled around to glare at them both. “ _Don’t_ make me separate you two!”

* * *

“What is wrong with you?” Miller demanded when he caught Bellamy Googling _cheesy_ _pickup lines_. “Do you actually want her to hate you?”

“I can’t just stop, Miller,” Bellamy said, deliberately not answering the question. “She’ll think she’s won.”

“You’re pathetic, Blake. She’d go out with you if you just asked her normally.”

Bellamy looked up a bit too fast at that. “Would she?”                              

Suddenly Miller was sorry he’d said anything. “I don’t know. Figure your shit out.”

* * *

Bellamy let his shot glass drop heavily to the counter, catching Clarke’s attention.

“I think there’s something wrong with my eyes.” When she raised an eyebrow at him, he continued, “I can’t take them off you.”

“There’s something wrong with mine too,” she said brightly. “I can’t _see_ you getting anywhere with me.”

“I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.”

“I don’t, but I do know karate. I’d be happy to rip your lungs out instead.”

“Is it hot in here or is it just you?”

“No, it’s you — just crashed and burned.”

“Why don’t we get drunk and make bad decisions?”

She sipped sedately at her cocktail. “Seems like you’re doing just fine on your own.”

“Clarke!” called a brunette with frankly intimidating eye makeup.

“Lexa, hey!” From his perch next to her, Bellamy could hardly fail to notice how Clarke lit up. “Come join me, I’ll buy you a drink.”

“I’m not interrupting anything?” Lexa’s gaze skimmed dismissively over Bellamy.

“No, no, you’re rescuing me actually.”

Bellamy could take a hint. “Thought you didn’t need rescuing,” he muttered as he left, referencing a retort she’d made a few days ago.

* * *

This time he ran into her on her way out of their apartment building.

His heart wasn’t in it, but he went through the motions anyway. “Hey, do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”

“Oh, sure.” She smiled sweetly, and Bellamy’s heart absolutely did not stop at the sight. “I’ve been wanting to practice hitting a moving target.”

“Well, you know I’d go to the end of the world for you.”

“But would you stay there?”

He knew full well it was just in jest, but his stupid traitorous heart actually sank at that.

She caught the change in his eyes. “Bellamy?”

His gaze dropped to the ground. “Clarke, can I tie your shoes?”

Clarke blinked, confused and exasperated. “Bellamy, I swear —”

“Because…” He looked up, and she would have called the movement _shy_ if she didn’t know him better. “I’d really hate it if you fell for someone else.”

In the silence that followed as she processed the words he wasn’t saying, his head dropped again.

“Hey, look at me.” He hadn’t realized she’d moved so close, but she was tugging gently at his curls the way she’d wanted to pretty much since she’d met him. “Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll return it.”

He choked on a surprised laugh and let her pull him in.

* * *

Never had Bellamy slept as well as he did that night, tangled in Clarke’s sheets with Clarke herself right next to him. Yet he found himself waking up at intervals, heart pounding as though it wanted to make sure she was still there. “Hey, Clarke?”

“Hm?” she mumbled sleepily.

“You look like a dream.”

He could feel her smile against his shoulder. “Go back to sleep, Bellamy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Cry with me on [Tumblr](http://befreckledrebelking.tumblr.com)!


End file.
